


Words I held in and couldn't say

by CallousMalice



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coffee shop shenanigans, Fluff, M/M, Melodramatic college students, Pining, gratuitious mentions of Tigger, someday i will write a fanfic with zelo and jongup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:20:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7784653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallousMalice/pseuds/CallousMalice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first line of a story is very important. It sets the tone and pull you in. So much about the rest of the story is decided in a single sentence. </p><p>If Himchan were to write their story out, how would he start it?</p><p>Would it begin when they were both bumbling freshmen, with not the faintest idea how to move their limbs properly, ears to big for their heads. </p><p>Or perhaps it would start a bit later than that, when they officially became roommates and were subsequently introduced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words I held in and couldn't say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nathaliafl123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathaliafl123/gifts).



> I had a lot of fun writing this for you Nathalia, and I hope you enjoy it!

The first line of a story is very important. It sets the tone and pull you in. So much about the rest of the story is decided in a single sentence.

If Kim Himchan were to write their story out, how would he start it?

Would it begin when they were both bumbling freshmen, with not the faintest idea how to move their limbs properly, ears to big for their heads.

Or perhaps it would start a bit later than that, when they officially became roommates and were subsequently introduced.

But then it was probably best to go with what had drawn him to the (slightly) older male in the first place. While it was true he couldn't describe Bang Yongguk's eyes the way they did in those young adult novels he'd flip through on occasion during his weekly visit to the campus bookstore; the fact was they were brown. Just brown. They weren't ugly by any means, nor were they particularly earth shattering. But, that didn't really matter.

Himchan loved Bbang's eyes just as much as he loved the rest of him, and that in itself was far more than words could so much as hope to encompass in full.

And it was those very same eyes that were currently locked on his own, from his place by the kitchen table.

“Would you mind helping me with this instead of sitting on your ass?”

Himchan pursed his lips thoughtfully, stroking his chin for good measure.

“But oppa, aren't you doing the same thing?”

He didn't have to look at the characteristically stoic guy to know he was rolling his eyes. “No, the difference is I'm actually using my time productively,” he said, gesturing to the open textbook resting on his lap.

“And I'm not?”

“Himchan-ah, you've been sitting there for-” he sighed, bringing a hand up to massage his temple, “would you please just help me out with this essay question?”

“Fine, fine,” Himchan relented with a sigh. Keeping his movements slow and languid, he made a show of moving his arms up over his head with a yawn as he came to stand over Yongguk. He looks down at the paper underneath his hands. Upon reading the words on the page etched out in black however, he immediately recoils.

“Oh, fuck no. Not astronomy.”

Yongguk simply sighs. “Channie.”

“No.”

“Himchan, please.”

“I said no, dammit.”

Yongguk fixes him with a hard stare. He'd like to say he held his own, but the reality is he caved within a matter of seconds. “You said something about an essay question?”

“Ah?” Yongguk uttered, vaguely bemused, and then he became terribly bright-eyed and alert. “Yeah, uh... The prompt is as follows: what would the Earth's present environment be like if all the parameters except those affected by size were kept the same, but the earth now had Mars' size?” Himchan screamed internally.

God did he ever hate those vague fucking questions. 'All parameters stay the same,' his ass. That of course excluded the billions of other things which obviously needed to change drastically in order for this to make an ounce of sense. Then there was that obscurely specific answer, the one the professor was going after in the first place, the same one they were supposed to magically spot. But that wasn't what he said, instead:

“And what are you supposed to do?” He asked through his teeth.

For a moment the dark-haired boy merely sat there, tongue between his teeth as he pieced together what it was he wanted to say. “I basically just need to provide a description of what has changed, along with determining whether or not we'd even survive such a change.”

Great. Easy stuff.

“Though oddly enough, I can't seem to find definite answers in my textbook or notes.”

Perfect.

“Yongguk, you're majoring in sound engineering, right?”

“Yep,” the aforementioned affirmed, without so much as batting an eye.

“And I'm a traditional music major.”

“Mhm.”

“So,” Himchan started, slightly hysterical by this point, “what are we doing taking an astrology class?” Yongguk paused, drawing out his silence while he mulled over what to say. “I believe the initial thought was that it would be a good way to fill in the gap we had empty when the infamous trig class was bumped up to the afternoon.”

“Of course that would be it.”

“So are you going to help me, or not?” Yongguk asks, now slightly irritated.

“Yeah, yeah,” Himchan relented with a sigh. “Here, scoot over.”

____

 

“Fifteen year old me would be appalled if he knew just how many times I've chosen sleep over sex.” Youngjae admits, voice betraying only the faintest hint of distaste. From his right, Daehyun absentmindedly nodded in agreement, jostling his fringe of orange hair that was just slightly peeking out from under the gray cap he wore. He clutched his mango smoothie in his grip, and seemed to have yet to notice that some of it was steadily dripping down the sides.

Just as they had done since the beginning of second semester, they (that is to say himself, Bang, Daehyun, and Youngjae) met up at the campus's older, less frequented cafe. It was long overdue for renovations, and the heating system rarely worked, but it was also a pleasantly quiet getaway in contrast to the regular hustle and bustle of student life.

“Did you honestly think,” Himchan began as he stirred his frappuccino idly with his straw, “that college would be one act of coition after the other?” The younger paused for a fraction of a second, considering. “Well, no. But frankly I didn't anticipate a dry spell at the ripe age of nineteen either.” He said finally.

“Amen, brother,” Himchan said, without really thinking about it. He tried not to stiffen up when he felt Guk's gaze shift to him, dark eyes gleaming in the cafe's dimmed lighting, but it was not an easy thing. Least of all when the aforementioned had the unfortunate (and rather enviable) habit of staring shamelessly at whatever he so pleased, a luxury Himchan would never, could never afford himself. That the recipient of this particular bout of intense staring happened to be none other than himself was something he was trying not to think too much about. Add that to the list of things that kept him up at night, far more of these said things involving Yongguk than he'd like to admit, and it was no wonder he relied so heavily on his morning coffee just to survive the day.

Himchan laughed it off, shaking off the butterflies with practiced ease. “That said,” he continued without pause, “aren't you a tad bit young for a mid-life crisis?” Young Jae waved him off, smiling eyes crinkling around the edges as he huffed out a breath that might have been a laugh. “Well, it could be said that starting is half the job.” Himchan narrowed his eyes in blatant disbelief at that.

“That doesn't even make sense. Try again.”

“At the end of hardship comes happiness.” He said blithely, “If you don't walk today, you will have to run tomorrow.” For a long moment Himchan just stared at his underclassmen, not bothering to conceal his bafflement. “Okay, now you're just reciting proverbs at random. Or, you were already doing that and I just hadn't bothered to notice it before.”

Judging by the way the younger seemed to practically curl in towards himself in smug satisfaction, he chiefly suspected the latter.  
Cocky little shit that he was. In what he hoped was a nonchalant fashion, he glanced to his left, confirming that Yongguk was still staring at him. Still staring, still staring. And oh, there goes his stomach, soaring and falling all at once in a confusing, dizzying, yet somehow enduringly pleasant sort of way.

Shit, if this wasn't getting more and more ridiculous by the second.

It took him a second to realize that the table was oddly quiet, and a fraction of another one to realize he was being stared at expectantly. Not knowing what else to do, he settled for the default, oh so predictable, “You're an idiot,” directed at Young Jae.

If those around him had remaining doubts that he was any different from his usual self, they were swept away with those three simple words. Himchan breathed an internal sigh of relief when Youngjae gaped in what he knew to be feigned offense.

“First of all, I know. Second of all, rude!”

“Yeah, rude!” Daehyun chimed in, without missing a beat. Youngjae sent the former an appreciative look over top of his espresso, and Himchan had to struggle to hide his grin. He couldn't be sure from where he was sitting, but he thought that they might be blushing. Interesting.

Himchan dutifully stores this information away for a later time.

After that it was easy. They were able to engage in small talk with the occasional commentary from Yongguk. It was simple enough to discuss plans for the weekend and bemoan that weeks workload. It didn't take them long to figure out that they were all united in their dislike of the rude and fussy Haneul-nim who taught Film and Literature, and to share all the newest gossip that had been traveling around campus.

Himchan tries not to look at Yongguk for the next half hour or so, to really look at him. It's too early in the morning, his coffee cup is way too full, and he is entirely too tired to deal with him right now. And- Himchan realizes, he is also all too vulnerable. Which is not something he wants to be picked up on. Not now or at any point, ever.

 

____

 

Himchan groaned and let his head fall on his desk with a thud, taking care to avoid his keyboard. With two essays to write, an end-of-term paper due, a handful of reading assignments, and Bora-nim's infamous group project-- all expected to be finished within the week, he'd long ago resigned himself to his impending damnation. It was simply a matter of time. Or so he had concluded. Either way, there was no denying he was doomed.

As a side note he'd made it his top priority to avoid looking at Yongguk from where he is perched on his bed over in the corner, his dog-eared edition of Jean Rhys' Wide Sargasso Sea balanced carefully in his hand. His legs were crossed, and his face rested on his palm, arm propped up on his thigh in what Himchan could only describe as one of the more seemingly uncomfortable positions he'd seen the aforementioned settle into.

And while clearly he had been failing miserably at the task he'd set for himself, he'd only been called out for 'staring into space' once, so he'd say he was still doing pretty well all things considered. Though really what was he supposed to do when Yongguk was wearing that shirt, the Henley with the rolled up sleeves. It was one of his personal favorites, and Himchan had the admittedly irrational belief that the jerk was wearing it on purpose. On a day when he was supposed to be getting things done of all days, and doing a piss-poor job at it. So he was being unfair-- so be it, he was tired and felt entitled to it.

The fact of the matter is-- Kim Himchan is tired. He's tired of college, he's tired of having emotions, and he's tired of unreasonably cold dorm showers. He wonders if there's any possible way that just one of these problems could just magically fix itself, but mostly the freaking icy hells that were the dorm showers. He briefly considers starting a petition, but abandons ship the instant he considers all the effort required to be put into it. Himchan leans back in his chair, arms coming up to rest behind his head as he closes his eyes.

But Yongguk's voice abruptly yanks him back into reality not a moment later. “Hey, how far along are you.” Himchan mentally replaces the audible period with a question mark before looking over to see Yongguk in his usual spot, this time with his laptop open on his lap. Even as his brain supplies the answer, he still looks down and pretends to scan his paper, if only to give him a little extra time to compose himself. Sure, the shirt was one thing- but the shirt plus the bed head and the glazed over look?

That was just a bit too much for him to reasonably handle while being expected to keep his sanity intact. Yes, he thought as he took a deep breath, inhaling through his nose, far too much.

“Ah,” he began, “about halfway. Just gotta dot some I's and cross some T's.” Yongguk stared. Himchan fidgeted.

“'Channie. You're doing geometry.”

Himchan sighed. This is what he got for getting all worked up. This was the price he had to pay. “Really? I hadn't noticed.”

__________________________________

 

“So, did you bang Bang yet, or what?”

Himchan choked on his own spit, and spent a good minute hunched over hacking and wheezing, all with Daehyun and Yongguk staring at him with similarly unimpressed stares.

“You barge in here uninvited,” Himchan complains as soon as his throat clears up, “and then have the audacity to inquire after my sex life. I remember a time where you two would cuddle up to me and call me 'Hyung'. What happened to that?” I miss that. These monsters in front of me are not the cute dong saeng I knew.”

“We never called you that.” “Do you even know us?”

Youngjae and Daehyun said in the same breath. Himchan sighed. He wasn't going to get out of this was he?

“I'm not going to get out of this am I?”

““Nope.””

A part of him was still expecting Yongguk to appear from the open door where he'd left, staring at him accusingly. But an even bigger part of him knew he was stuck for the foreseeable future.

“Is it really that hard to believe that we're just friends?” Himchan might as well stall for a bit longer. He knows he's just biding his time at this point, but as in most things, he can't really bring himself to care. “I know this may be hard for you to conceive- but there's a very real possibility that Guk and I just aren't into each other in any way that's not strictly platonic.

“Oh no, it's a very real possibility,” Daehyun admitted around a mouthful of cake. Cake that looked suspiciously similar to the one he'd had in his fridge.

“Maybe you're right,” Youngjae surmised, “perhaps you and Yongguk are simply two regular friends.” Himchan narrowed his eyes into petulant slits.

“Regular friends who give each other in-depth massages. Regular friends who use each other as pillows. Regular friends who frequently share their meals. Regular friends who wear each other's clothes. Regular friends who- regular friends who...” Youngjae visibly floundered for a moment, grasping for words.

“Regular friends who enjoy staring at each other's asses when they think the other's not looking,” Daehyun added helpfully.

“Yes, exactly.” Youngjae praised, visibly delighted.

“But,” Himchan interjected, “that clothes sharing incident was a one time thing. I'd neglected to do laundry.” He argued, wisely avoiding the comment about their respective asses.

Tigger stared at them from his place on Yongguk's desk, the smile stitched across his face and high brows somehow bordering on taunting. How rude.

“And either way it is still not something worth discussing,” he points out with an air of finality. If only he thought accordingly with his outward convictions. Then his life would be so much easier. Either way, Youngjae and Daehyun were no more impressed with him and his bullshit than they had been before.

Because that was just his luck. Wasn't it?

“Y'know,” Youngjae began, brows furrowing minutely, “you can't hide behind feigned nonchalance and what is otherwise just plain avoidance forever. You may think you're doing the right thing, keeping quiet, but you're only hurting yourself.” All of a sudden Himchan remembered just why Youngjae was such a force to be reckoned with.

Usually he carried the intensity of a blistering summer day, never relenting and always full of passion, of vigor. But when he wanted to be, he was a storm. He'd analyze the situation and know exactly where to press to achieve the desired reaction. He'd blow in on a whirlwind, and turn over everything in his path with neither worry nor care. It wasn't the first time he'd been ripped from his defenses by him, regardless of what he might want, and he strongly suspected that it wouldn't be the last either.

“Eventually, whatever the case may be, you'll have to face each other. Wouldn't you rather have that be on your own terms as opposed to the alternative?”

Daehyun looked down and away to the floor by the bed, his lips pulled resolutely into a straight line. Himchan realized with a faint twinge that he wasn't the only one Youngjae was talking to. A hypocrites a hypocrites a hypocrite.

For a while Himchan simply stares, the pads of his fingers skimming briefly over the tabletop. He shifts his weight over to one side, and then back again. He bites down, nibbling on his lower lip. Cocking his head, he stretches out his legs until they're spread out on either side of him. If he's genuinely being expected to provide an answer here, then you had best believe that he was going to take his sweet time getting to it.

Because if there was one thing Himchan undoubtedly was when he wanted to be it was childish. And petty, but we don't mention that part. But yes, he was mostly just petty. What could he say? He wasn't afraid to play the cheap shots. Never had been, and likely never would be.

“You do know me, yes?”

Youngjae opened his mouth, reply at the ready. And judging by the narrowed eyes he was being met with, it was to be a chiefly scathing one.

“Then you would know that I am not a person who typically deals with unnecessary things.” Himchan says in the most monotonous voice he could manage at the moment. “Unnecessary thing such as, say, reason or logic. Both of which are incredibly obsolete and woebegone, you must understand.”

Youngjae leans back with all the heavy dissatisfaction of a house cat who'd just returned from an unsuccessful hunt. Daehyun merely looks nonplussed, and dare he say-- just a tad bit relieved.

“Sometimes I can't believe the words that leave your mouth. But then I remember who I'm dealing with, and suddenly it all makes sense,” Youngjae's voice probably had less bite than he'd intended, whether he'd realized it or not.

“Well,” Himchan said, dragging out the vowel, “believe the unbelievable.”

“Well,” Youngjae echoed as he swiveled around and got to his feet, “while you are sitting there, eating ice cream, and just generally being a sad human being- I shall be on the other side of campus with all that good advice you're not listening to.”

“And I shall join him,” Daehyun declared. “For moral support.”

“He's gonna need it,” Himchan agreed.

“I heard that!” Youngjae's voice sounded from outside the doorframe he'd stepped through. Daehyun grinned, pausing briefly to point finger guns in his direction. A touching gesture to which Himchan happily returned.

____

 

Yongguk was acting weird.

Well, okay, weirder than usual.

Not that he was doing anything different from routine, oh no. But it was in the way he held his pen in a vice grip, the whites of his knuckles serving in stark contrast to the dark fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. Not to mention his near-constantly shifting eyes and the soft tap-tap-tap of his foot on the carpeted floors, being all things that gave him away. All rather easily, at that, if he did say so himself. Arguably almost laughably so.

But Himchan knew better than to bring it up himself. Yongguk needed to believe that he was unreadable in order for him to feel comfortable enough to open up to him. The last thing he needed was to feel pressured, so he would do his damnedest to avoid that as best as he could.

That being said, he was still feeling pretty antsy himself.

“Oi, Himchan.” Yongguk's voice had him jolting up in his seat. His head jerked to the side, face no doubt pulled into an innately frazzled sort of discontent, eyes squinted in a pointlessly sharp glare.

“Yes?” He sees Yongguk's customary coffee cup from the campus cafe sitting in front of him on the tabletop, and traces of that morning's pastry dusted across both his lips and plate. Himchan has half a mind to offer to wipe them off for him, but mentally slaps himself. Get it together, Kim Himchan. He needs to quit fooling around and focus already, which is something he never thought he'd actually admit to, least of all to himself.

“Are you interested in anyone?”

Himchan froze on the spot, fighting to keep his incredulity from showing on his face. Because really? Really? Of all the unfair things, this was just plain ridiculous.

He struggles for a moment between keeping a straight face and allowing a frown to break through, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head.

“Uh... why the sudden interest in my love life?”

“Just curious,” Yongguk shrugs, as though those two words are all the explanation he needs. But even from where he's sitting Himchan notices how strained the motion is and he's not having any of it.

“Guk?” He asks, voice soft.

“Hm?”

“Seriously.”

Yongguk hesitates for a fraction of a second, jaw tightening, and Himchan's stomach clenches up.

“I dunno, Youngjae and Daehyun commented on how you hadn't dated anyone since the beginning of freshmen year and I thought it was a little strange too.” He said, eyes shifting from him to his shoes, to Tigger, whose ears he was kneading unhaltingly in his hands.

“Huh.” Himchan stated haltingly. “Okay.”  
He felt the surfacing rebuttal rising in his mouth, armed and ready, but he swallowed it back down. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Far more often than he thought best.

“Again, why does it interest you?” He said, choosing to bypass the comment about Youngjae and Daehyun, deciding to give them hell for it later.

There is a flicker of something in his eyes. But it's gone as quick as it comes, replaced with the same phlegmatic look that had been an assumed staple of his when they'd first become roommates. Yongguk is a mature man, a restrained man. But he's also about as thick as they come when it comes to anything emotion-related. Himchan knows this.

“Well, up until this year you were living off campus, and I thought maybe that had something to do with it. That no longer living by yourself made it harder for you to... you know...” He was looking at him, head tipped surreptitiously to the side and eyes questioning, and holy fuck if he didn't look as gorgeous as always. But that still didn't change the fact that he was asking about his sex life in his own roundabout, awkward, and just intensely Yongguk kind of way.

Realizing just how many of his friends, unfortunate object of his affections included, had asked him about his bump and grind situation within such a short window of time was really starting to make Himchan reevaluate his life choices up until this point.

“Well, yeah,” Himchan said slowly, phrasing his words carefully. “I mean, finding a partner is difficult enough as it is without the situation of co-living arrangements, there's no denying that.”  
Not that he'd tried, of course. Small details like that were best left unsaid, or in his case, overlooked completely. Ceaseless pining after oblivious roommates with adorkable laughs left little energy for dating and the like, and that was a fact.

“Though I must ask and rephrase the same question once more for our viewing pleasure- why does it matter?”

“No, it's just,” Yongguk trailed off, and closed his eyes. “I want you to know, you don't have to worry about me. I don't mind if you bring someone back here, it's really up to you.”

Feeling dazed, Himchan just nods in response as he gets to his feet, hurriedly shoving his laptop and assignment folder into the nearest bag he can find. “Great, alright thanks. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks. Appreciate it.”

He wobbles a bit on his heel as he jolts around, striding towards the door with as much dignity as he can muster. “I'm gonna go somewhere- and do something now. See you later, roomie.”

He thinks Yongguk calls after him, voice so clearly confused and sad. It isn't until Himchan is walking down the street, halfway to he hasn't the faintest avenue that he starts to feel guilty about it. And once he starts it hits him hard. He can't breathe. He feels like he's been hit by a truck, and the realization of it all startles him.

Only Yongguk would feel the need to give him permission to go have wild, crazy sex with anyone in the general vicinity and Himchan was probably the only hormonal college guy who would get this depressed about it. Okay, so admittedly that's not exactly what he said, but coming from him it might as well be thus. Only Yongguk would come so close to nearing the truth of the matter with his surprisingly astute observations only to sorely misunderstand the base point.

He didn't know what it was that had caused him to feel the way he did right now. How was it that he could be so pessimistic about the very idea of a relationship between him and Yongguk and still end up feeling like he'd been let down.

People, Himchan thought, are confusing and hopelessly flawed fuckers.

And as he found his feet stopping in the doorway of the run-down and worse for wear campus cafe, he had to admit that their sentimentality made them extremely predictable as well.

 

______

 

 

Of course, it is this same predictability that leads Yongguk to find him less than a half hour later, blowing through the door like a storm and carrying the ruffled and haphazard appearance of one too.

Himchan tries to speak, to open his mouth, words forming on the tip of his tongue. But just like that his throat had closed up and he felt like he was swallowing glass. But his apparent lack of a response does little to deter Yongguk, who seamlessly slides into the seat across from him, words already tumbling relentlessly from his parted lips.

“I lied to you.” Yongguk declared, hand reaching for him before retracting, thinking better of it. And if Himchan were in a more stable state of mind he would be able to hear the warning bells ringing off, one by one. Maybe it's a combination of sleep deprivation and an empty stomach, but he's feeling close to crying already. Maybe it's pent-up emotions or self-righteous anger or all of these things mixed together into one big mess.

“And I... I'm sorry for that. You don't deserve that, you really don't.” He wants to stop him, because Yongguk was clearly out of breath, and he figures out with a pang that he must have ran all the way here. But the earnest look on his face keeps him quiet.

“I suck at this... this,” he gestures around vaguely. “I'm no good at this. I know that, and I am absolutely positive that you do too. But I need to try, because communication goes both ways.”

Himchan flinches guiltily, and is immensely thankful that Yongguk is too preoccupied trying to find words to say to notice.

“I just hope somehow you'll understand, and that it doesn't change anything.”

“I don't understand what you're trying to tell me,” Himchan says, and he really didn't.  
Something about the look Yongguk was giving him gave Himchan the idea that he was aware of something he wasn't, something he was out of the loop on. And he didn't like it.

Yongguk shifts in his seat, and he was shocked by the flush of color he saw, spreading from his collarbone and blooming up to the tips of his ears.

“I said you didn't have to worry about me, and that much is true.” He says the rest in a low mumble, and Himchan's head is spinning, mind numb. There was a palpable tightness restricting his windpipes. And somehow his brain seemed to know what the rest of him wasn't even ready to process.

“What?” Himchan managed to get out. “Bbang, what?”

“I mind.”

He stares at him blankly before getting to his feet, slinging his bag over his shoulder, and Yongguk looks absolutely crestfallen up until Himchan takes his hand in his. With a small tug he allows himself to be pulled out of his chair, and led past the threshold and around the back of the cafe.

Without a word, Himchan crowds the taller boy against the wall, only taking the precaution of bringing his arm up to wrap around Yongguk's head before slamming their mouths together. It's not exactly pleasant at first, his lips are dry, their teeth clack together painfully, and Yongguk doesn't have any idea where to put his hands. But Himchan quickly brings his free hand up to envelop his throat and angle his jaw, tilting him a bit to the right so their noses aren't smushed together. He's delighted when his hands find their way to his hips. When they part, Yongguk is the first to speak.

“Okay, now I'm the one who doesn't understand.” He said, with color in his cheeks and his pupils blown wide.

Himchan's lips unfurl into what he knows is undoubtedly a huge, goofy grin.

“Well, in Yongguk-speak- I minded, too.”

Yongguk's hands shook at his sides, and he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

 

______

 

They stumbled through the door like a couple of teenagers, falling to the bed in a tangled jumble of limbs and torsos that had Himchan laughing breathlessly into Yongguk's mouth. The muscles in his stomach clenched and spasmed as articles of clothing disappeared, one after the other, down to the floor below.

First to go were their shoes followed by Yongguk's shirt, all but ripped off of his head with Himchan's enthusiastic assistance, and the latter's pants were shucked off along with it.

His breath was hot against his neck as his nose glided down the juncture of his throat and shoulder, reaching down with a hand to wrap his leg around his hip. Himchan shuddered, his arms coming up to wrap around Yongguk's back and shoulders, muscles tensing and relaxing underneath his grip. Tensing and relaxing.

He kissed him deep and slow, and he could already tell that the way he ran his hands up his thighs would become his new craving. Yongguk dragged his lips over his skin. And he couldn't seem to get over the way he'd whisper his name in between each gasp he'd make. He couldn't get over the way he scratched his nails down his back and asked for more.

“Are you alright? Is this okay?” He asks him, and Himchan can't help it, he huffs out a laugh. He reaches up, cupping the man's face in his hands, and Yongguk lets him. He can feel his insides squirming in delight as his body sought out the warmth found in the other's skin.

“Yes,” he pants, “please, keep going.”

“Please, please, please.” A sharp gasp slipped from him and he grabbed at his arm instinctively, as they rut against each other in deep, lazy strokes. He exhales in a loud puff of breath, lips smacking wetly, hips writhing for more friction. He reaches down between them, fingers reaching to stroke and tug. Yongguk shudders and sighs, hips bucking against his.

“Mm...this is really,” he stifles a gasp, back arching.

Himchan grips him, beaming as he flips them over, pinning him with his weight as he ruts against him.

Himchan could feel his hips shift a little from underneath him, breathing harshly in his ear. Fingers digging in a little tighter, movements driving a little bit harder. He feels like his insides had been set ablaze, with scorching heat swirling in his abdomen.

He could feel his hips twitching, without any signs of stopping, and they were thrusting up against each other. All the sweat and fluid resulted in obscene sounds that would have been embarrassing if they weren't so focused on the task at hand. They were thrusting and jerking up into each other, gasping breaths into each other's opened mouths.

“Bang- mph- Bang,” Himchan found himself panting between groans and sighs. Yongguk was digging his nails into his back, and he had no doubt that there would be marks come morning.

“Channie, 're you close?” Himchan shuddered upon hearing how ragged Yongguk's voice was against his lips.

“Yes,” he says, one syllable stretching out into three. “Just- I-,” he substituted words with his lips, moving insistently in time with their movements, crying out into his mouth. His eyelids fluttered as he spasmed fiercely, clutching onto the sheets like a lifeline. The space where their hands were joined down below was slick, as he rode out his high with Himchan's help. With a twitch and a loud gasp, he came, breathing harshly as they collapsed against each other.

After a few moments spent basking in the afterglow, Himchan rolled off Yongguk, chest heaving as he curled up beside him, completely and utterly blissed out. His hands found their way into his hair, and the sensation of his weight on him made him feel full.

Suddenly, he had a thought, and let out a soft snort. “Hey, Guk?”

There's a pause, and he's pulled in even tighter into the aforementioned's arms. Then finally there's a small grunt of acknowledgement.

“Thanks for putting up with me.”

This time he's answered right away. “That's my line.”

Himchan laughed quietly at that, throat still kind of rough and scratchy. “I beg to differ.”

After some nonsensical grumbling, Yongguk speaks. “Either way, it's been an honor.”

Himchan just giggles, low and throaty. He wonders if he's just imagining that Yongguk holds him a little closer, hugs him a little tighter, every time he laughs. 

 


End file.
